I am no longer collared. No longer owned. No longer his submissive...

We split up last night. I took my collar off about 30 minutes ago. I feel naked.

I won't say this was a mutual decision. But, despite the fact that he called that final shot, and i'm the one in shock, but i think we both felt it coming, both knew neither of us were happy. I just didn't want to admit it, wanted to believe that it could be fixed.

This all being said. I'm shutting down this blog. It was, after all, "Sweet Submission in the House of Reason" and I am not longer a submissive in the House of Reason. I WILL be keeping the web address, kslaveconfessions.blogspot.com, I will just be revamping my blog page over the next couple of weeks, and probably removing several posts.

I need a fresh start.

Disappointing

I left for my vacation with the intention of spending some quality time with my family for a few days and then visiting Daddy for a day and a night to play and hang out...

 Well.. Nothing ever really works out as planned, I guess....

Quality time with my family is hard to come by. My parents are divorced. My dad is the kind of person that never really learned how to express emotions *especially* to an emotionally dependent and impressionable daughter. We barely talked while I was there. My step mother and step sister and I went out for some girl time and returned to pick my father up for dinner, which he refused to go to in favor of watching a pregame show. I left soon after we got back from dinner, and when I was leaving, he seem surprised. But I no desire to sit and watch football and be ignored...

Spending time with my mom was good, though it caused concern cause thought she's only 53, she is showing signs to older age. She is easily upset by change or sudden events, anxiety ridden when in public outside of her job. She's getting pretty forgetful and paranoid about things because she is aware of her memory issues.

My brother and his wife came over for dinner. I think this was the most disappointing part of my weekend, as the three of us exchanged maybe 5 sentences total between us and then they left, after only an hour. I only get to visit like once every 4 months or so, so I was really frustrated by this...

Spending time with Daddy was nice, though we didn't get to go to dinner like we had planned, do to me having an upset tummy. We hung out, went to a movie, did a little shopping. We did play a little, some flogging (he got to play with my horse hair flogger and discovered he really liked it) and play with vampire gloves. I was high and floaty and slept like a fregging rock. I woke up to a delicious breakfast. But many of the things I really wanted to do didn't happen, mostly cause i was exhausted and feelin a bit under the weather.

so I am back now, and have been for a week, but have been busy doin a bunch of different things. I plan to post again in the next couple of days as my head has been spinning with ideas and as of yet unexplored kinks. But I'm behind in my classes at Uni and Daddy has threatened punishment if I don't fix that...


Love and Kisses


kslave

Still here...

Things are going pretty good... I guess that's why i haven't posted here in a while... School started again, dealing with an online biology class. Things with Master and with Daddy are just fine. Finding balance between work and school and both of them has been a little bit interesting, but i think i will be able to manage....

On my way out to a play party now, so hopefully i will have a new story to tell tomorrow....

Here and Open

For a while i starting posting on a different blog, inthehouseofreason.wordpress.com and i don't feel like maintaining two blogs at once, so i will be shutting that one down at sometime in the future. I moved cause i wanted to make a fresh start, an open start. Instead, i shut down as quickly as i started... I begin to wonder if maybe i am just not the regular blogging type. I like having an outlet here, and it has helped to open me up with Master, but without a topic to post on every day, i tend to slack off. And honestly, i tend to slack off anyway simply because i'm lazy or busy. I don't know how long i will continue writing here, but somethings have happened in life recently that i need a space to talk about....

Master and i have decided to open our relationship up to other people. i know this sounds crazy to anyone that has read many of my posts... Hell the last post here was me bitching about him playing with another girl... It has been the topic of discussion for a while now, but usually in the form of finding a sister for me or just someone else for him to play with. When the idea was posed to me by an outside source that perhaps my jealous was due to the fact that i was not allowed (or never got to) play with someone else, something clicked for me. We went to a play party several weeks ago and he played with other people, and i was left on my own for the night. It was not done necessarily on purpose, but it was the way things happened. Frustration raged in me. Not jealousy, but frustration of sitting on my hands all night because no one wanted to play with me.... So following that, i posted up on fet that i was open to playing with others, that i was a sadist, not just a submissive, that i was here in my own right, not just as an extension of my Master. I also sent out a couple of emails asking others if they might want to top me. The next party, a mere few days after said posting, I was asked to top a lovely little girl in warm up for a scene for her later that night. After asking Master's permission, i quickly agreed, and the first scene of the night for me was a lovely flogging applied to her back ass tits and cunt, as well as making her admit what a little pain slut she is. Master was doing a fire scene with someone else in another room, so he didn't get to see much of it.... After his scene ended, he was asked to do a rope demo by the same girl i flogged, and oh! how my heart soared when he told her that he was willing to do so only after he had scened with me. Our scene was beautiful and intense and i felt more connected to him in that hour and a half than i have in a long time. I will refrain from posting it here, as i am still holding it close to my heart. We finished up the night by tying the little girl slut up and letting anyone that wanted to touch her touch her. It was incredible hot to work with Master in such a way... Not quite his equal, but not so under him either.

This was a turning point in our relationship. It made us stronger, and it made me realize that it was not the idea of him playing with someone else that made me freak, but rather the idea of being left alone while it was happening. As i started getting more comfortable with it, i have started planning finding Master an additional girl. Then we bought a bar....

Well... Actually, Master's father bought a bar, realized it wasn't as much fun as he would have liked, and gave the bar to Master. Suddenly, it took over all rational and civil life. We both have put a lot of hours into it, trying to get paperwork done and everything legal and up and running. We are finally making progress... But this as given me a lot of time at home alone....

Which is how i met J. J is a friend of Spirited One's Master, Asha, who lives here in the states. Friend is a bit of an understatement, they say they are more like brothers. They certainly act like it. Asha got me into play Lord of the Rings Online, and there i met J. And we clicked... Through one conversation or another (they are kind of blurring together on me at the moment) we were discussing the fact that Master isn't really okay with being a Daddy and that J thought that it was incredible hot... And well... I like him.. I like being his Princess... It feels wonderful to have a place to express that side of me in a safe healthy (?) way. I adore him.

Bringing up the need to define our relationship as open with Master went a lot smoother that i would have thought. I made sure to clarify that it wasn't that i didn't want to be with him , or that i wanted to cheat. It was ultimately his decision. I told him honestly and bluntly that there were things that we both wanted in a relationship that we couldn't give each other and that it seemed silly to limit our happiness by staying monogamous. He agreed. Just that simple.

Well... It might have been that simple for him to agree, but it has taken me a bit to adjust to liking someone else.... Okay more than a bit, cause i'm still not adjusted. But i'm working on that...

Moving part 2

Boxes are packed. Clothes are folded. My apartment looks empty. I still have a few posters to take down, and plates to pack once i get some newspaper, but things are ready for moving. Am I?

I didn't live alone until i was nearly 22. I was terrified of it. I went from family to a boy, to family, to a boy. I promised myself at the end of my last major relationship that i would spend at least a year living on my own. I accomplished that. Spent longer than that alone. I got very used to the idea, until i had a hard time even thinking about living with someone else. It gets easy on your own, if a little lonely. If the house is a mess, you have no one to blame but yourself, and if you want to leave it that way, no one complains. It doesn't matter if you use all the hot water or play music loudly (except maybe to the neighbors). Life can be pretty sweet.

I'm not sure that i would be making this move quite yet if it wasn't for the fact that Master and i live 180 miles apart. But the nights are cold and lonely and we miss each other constantly. It may be a little hasty, but i have confidence in our relationship.

What is new is being a submissive 24/7. I mean yes, this is always who i am. But now, my Master will be there all the time (unless we are working). Thats a lot more time for me to get into trouble. A lot more time that he will be watching every move i make, and deciding how to use it in controlling me. A lot more time that i will be able to serve him...

I'll post more once i actually get there, this weekend will be busy with moving and all..

Guess what?

I got a job near Masters! WOOHOO!!! YAYAYA!!!