Alone in the Dark

Master and i went to a party on Saturday night. It was very small, about 8 people of the expected 30. We haven't been to a part since January i believe, so i was nervous and excited. The first hour or two was just hanging out and a class called 'Stagecraft for Perverts' which had some good funny parts. Afterward, we had the little scene that i will describe below. I'm just going to post the details of the scene here, then i will in another post, i will describe its affects, as it has changed my mindset.

At the play space there is this table, about waist high on me (3 feet maybe?) with two posts on the front that are about 5 1/2 foot tall. The front has a little grove cut out of it, and its topped with vinyl. Master told me to strip, and i was glad to get out of the 3.5 inch heels he had made me wear that night. I had already unpacked the toybag, so he had no trouble find the ankle cuffs. He chained and locked my ankles to the rings at the tops of each post, so that my legs were spread up in the air. Then he locked my wrists to the sides of the table. So here i am lying on my back, naked, spread like i'm at the gyno's office. There's some gothy creepy music playing, and a little gas space heater turned out, so Master turns off the lights. The walks out of the room, closing the door. Thats right. He chained me up and left me all alone!

Now secret of secrets, i'm a bit afraid of the dark, and more afraid of being helpless in the dark. But thats what he did. He made sure i couldn't escape and left me. i tried to be calm, at first, but the longer he was gone, the more panicked i felt, twisted and pulling at the cuffs (to no avail), whimpering in the dark. It felt like 20 minutes, though he says it was only about 10, just long enough to smoke a cigarette.

The rest of the scene is a bit of a blur. I remember candles brought in by our hostess, crying out as the hot wax dripped on my body. I remember the host bringing in ice cubes, being encouraged to touch me. I remember biting at him, trying to kick him. I remember feeling something sticking to my chest as Master pulled it off (lots of plastic wrap i later learned as i cleaned up), i remember admitting that i was helpless, that He had all the control. When he took the chains off, i remember asking him to leave the ankle cuffs on. Which he did, as well as the wrist cuffs with a chain between them.

The rest of the night is fuzzy as well, there was much talking, and friendly, before sleeping in his arms at home

The morning after, all the pretty bruises
Harness tie
Bondage with belts
New paddles

Best Birthday Ever!

Master just left. It has been a wonderful weekend, starting friday night with Sir and Miss L. And when i got home, Master surprised me with coming down early for the weekend. It was wonderful. He brought several new toys with Him (pictures to come later), and i was simply delighted to see Him here early. The weekend was pretty relaxed, lots of playing and enjoying each other and the new toys. Saturday W/we went shopping and He got me new sheets for my bed, a high thread count than i have slept on before and i will never go back, and a matching comforter as will as a waterproof pad to cover my matress so that the entensive play and my squirting wouldnt damage my matress. W/we had lunch and a decent BBQ place then came back home and played. i got some nice bruises (pictures later), and took more pain than i really had before. The afternoon was spent in the city at the mall, getting an autograph followed by a trip to a sex shop, which W/we left empty handed. Went out to dinner, came home, more playing, some nice bondage, an enema, and birthday spankings at midnight 23 for my birthday and what started out as the 43 for His birthday in a few weeks, that both of U/us lost count on but was way over 43. This morning woke to O/our first time with anal sex together. i did it once when i was 16, but not since then. i do admit that it was wonderful to feel Him cum in my ass... :D

i have fire play class this afternoon with Miss L. The rest of my day to spend as i like, decompressing and relaxing. But i haven't been this happy... ever.

explanation

i have two things physically connecting me to my Master: my pretty collar with His heart on it, and 'Master's slave' written on my mound above His pussy. i cannot wear cuffs or corset. His t-shirt that i have come addicted to snuggling with at night as i lay down to sleep is at home on my bed, along with my paci. And i have been struggling lately as it is, after the horrible night last week.
i listened to a person i shouldn't have, when He claimed to be a good person and a good Dom. we had talked about my relationship with Master, and how hard it is for me sometimes. i failed in my strength to my Master, doubted everything W/we had been working so hard for. i collapsed, and Master was not up to defending U/us to this slave. He released me from my collar. The searing pain was automatic. i felt like i was being torn apart from the inside out. And with in two hours i was begging for it back, begging for Him back, to know my place once again. i felt so lost that night as He told me to sleep without my collar on, with no journal entry, and picking out my own panties for the next day. i was not His slave that night, and i felt empty. i went to work and left early, laying on my couch wallowing in my own misery waiting for His call. It did come, and long story short, obviously, i am His slave again. But i think W/we have learned vaulable lessons. Master learned to be more strict with me, i think, that it is perfectly okay to tell me to sit down and shut up even if i am stressing... That a simple 'slave' can calm me down. And i learned even more to trust in my relationship with Him, that He is keeping me safe, and that anyone who tells me otherwise can fuck off.
But i feel very disconnected from my Master even though He tells me i am serving Him by helping my sister, and helping her with her baby. i miss Him terribly. i love You, Sir.

This is what they teach boyscouts... *grin* Master's handiwork from His last visit...