Pen Pal

I sometimes think that i was born at the wrong time. I have always adored the 1950s household. Male supremacy, cute clothes, stay at home PTA soccer moms that have dinner on the table when their husband got home, quiet generally well behaved children, manners and etiquette taught in schools, beautiful cars, and people wrote letters. No emails. No computers. Barely TVs. I appreciate my computer- it is how i met my Master, and how i record my thoughts here in this blog and has exposed me to so many different things in life, including the lifestyle- so please don't miss understand. But i sometimes feel that the art of penmanship and letter writing has been lost. I want a pen pal. I want to stamp an envelope and put it in the mail and wait for a reply. I want pretty stationary and flowing fountain pens. Know what i mean?

the Math of my Death

i have a kinds of bad, long ranging habit of thinking about mortality. Mine and everyone else's. i was in the bath tub last night and my brain went fuzzy, the start of the bipolar crash for me. i thought about how long it would take someone to figure out i had drown in the bath. Master talks to me most frequently of course, but doesn't have the phone number for anyone. He could email Miss L and Sir, after trying to call me. Okay.. Lets say i get in the bath at 7pm (as i did last night). i'm tired and the hot water is soothing, relaxing, plus in causes my blood pressure to lower. i fall asleep and drown, well say by 745pm. Master and i don't chat until 9 or 930. We'll say 9 cause that is what it was last night. Thats an hour and fifteen minutes. He waits until 910 to call me. i don't answer. He calls again and again until 930. At 930, He is worried enough that He emails Miss L, and She's there. She tries calling me as She drives down too. Lets assume that She leaves right away, doing 70-80 miles an hour the whole way here. If she doesn't get pulled over, She makes it here by 10. 2 hours and 15 minutes after my death. But no one has a key. They have two choices, break down the door or call the police and wait for them to break down the door. They take choice B. The police show, kick in my door, find me asleep in my bathtub, 3 hours after my death. This is the faster of two situations, the other being that Miss L doesn't get an email until the next day. If it was not for Master, it could be several days before i am discovered dead.

And if Master dies, suddenly, for whatever reason, how long until i know. No one close knows about me, no one would call. It would take, i believe, me calling His cell phone, and someone close by paying enough attention to answer it, assuming that it wasn't destroyed in whatever killed Him. And i would be finding out from His wife, and would recieve no comfort, to this situation that might kill me. Its scary.....

questions and answers

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
i would tolerate it for a little while i think, but i have left loving relationships because of crappy sex.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body-numbing sex?
i can't choose. i want to say the love that lasts, but see statement above

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
there is a huge list of tosses.. Michael, tony, erik, aaron, eddie being the top of that list. But i don't really have anyone i would take back. More just ones that i shouldn't have treated the way that i did, and at the moment, i am lucky to have a second attempt with Him.

4. If you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” too?
Gods, i don't know? Johnny Depp?

5. Which are more important sex, money, love and happiness? (And no, you can’t pick’em all)?
In order from most to least- happiness, love, sex, money

1. What’s your favorite way to have an orgasm?
someone or something pounding away on my cervix... soooo intense...

2. Do you use a sex toy? Hands? or both?
depends on what Master or Sir has told me or given me permission to use. but Both

3. Do you have a favorite time of day or night that you like to pleasure yourself or have sex?
nope


4. Do you feel you have different types of orgasms?
Hells yeah.. clit, cervix, nipples, ass, and regular vaginal


5. Do you have a position or a technique that always guarantees an orgasm?
no, nothing is guaranteed when Your orgasms belong to someone else.

6. Is having your clit directly stimulated pleasurable for you? What about after an orgasm?
oh yes

7. Do you masturbate/pleasure yourself?
when allowed

8. Has your self-pleasuring repertoire/routine/technique changed or evolved over time?
my mind is more involved... i also prefer porn, something to listen to

9. Are sex toys part of your self-pleasuring or with a partner? Or both?
Oh definetely

10. If you enjoy using sex toys how often do you upgrade your equipment?
its been a while since i have gotten something new..


11. What’s the most intense orgasm you have ever had?
Sir would have me play and deny me orgasm for a while till i would come so hard i passed out... Fucking fabulous

12. How often do you orgasm? Daily, more than once a day, weekly, monthly…???
pends on how often Master lets me

13. Do you regard orgasm to be a stress reliever?

Yes i do, more then Valium, more then Green, not as much as shopping but a close second. I’m a true believer in stress relief from orgasms. *giggles*

14. What happens to you after orgasm? Full of energy, a bit lala or ready to go to sleep?
depends on the orgasm and the making of it. sometimes i get giggles sometimes it exhausts me

15. Have you ever squirted?
oh yes

16. Do you fantasize when you masturbate? Or do you just get right down to it?
depends on my mood

17. What do you like about having an orgasm? Is it important you have an orgasm every time?
No, sometimes the play is the important part and i love orgasm denial.