Adult Content

This blog contains material that may be unsuitable for the stuck up, close minded, or homo-kinka-phobic. If you are under 18 or other wise limited in your perceptions, please move along

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Back from the wilderness...

Everything is coming to an end lately... It started with the end of my relationship with Daddy. Real life interferred for a while, and so did his jealous toward any other man in my life as well as his S.O. The last email I got from him left no room for doubt, and no room to return to the relationship in the future. Closure is a good thing, but i'm not sure how I feel about not wanting to be friends. Its a little strange for me.

The semester of school is also ending. I pulled off a B is Ecology and Biology, and think I have an A in College Algebra. I haven't made a decision about classes for next semester, just that I will be taking them. I'm glad its over, I really need a break and need to be able to have some free time.

I am also quitting my job. I never thought I would say this, but I am working in Master's bar full time now. I have been for a couple of weeks. I've had almost no free time between working both jobs and school. The 11th is my last day and I am looking forward to things going back to normal.

Working in the bar has helped to mend some things between Master and I. So did a lot of conversations about where our relationship was and where we wanted it to be in the future. Its been a while since I have felt able to truly give myself over to my submission, and i'm glad to be here again. The relationship is still open-I'm still looking for a Daddy to play with, but I will not give up the things that I need for anyone.

Most of the issues that Master and I have no are related to time. We never have enough of it- for each other or for ourselves. I have been left physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I have given everything in to working both jobs and school and trying to keep Master happy. I desperately need to recharge. The problem is.. I find that I have no way to do that anymore. I still meditate-but that has become every other day now. And i find it harder and harder to find the peace inside myself to meditate. It was suggested that I go outside to feel the earth around me (since I am very earth and water related) but since that suggestion was made, it has rained almost everyday. I try to open myself to hear what the Goddess is saying, but her voice is a whisper. I guess what it comes down to is I need a spa day. And more sleep....

I am looking forward to the easy pace of this summer. Looking forward to being able to play and sing and dance and blow bubbles and take baths.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear that. :( I hope you find closure and healing fast.