Back from the wilderness...

Everything is coming to an end lately... It started with the end of my relationship with Daddy. Real life interferred for a while, and so did his jealous toward any other man in my life as well as his S.O. The last email I got from him left no room for doubt, and no room to return to the relationship in the future. Closure is a good thing, but i'm not sure how I feel about not wanting to be friends. Its a little strange for me.

The semester of school is also ending. I pulled off a B is Ecology and Biology, and think I have an A in College Algebra. I haven't made a decision about classes for next semester, just that I will be taking them. I'm glad its over, I really need a break and need to be able to have some free time.

I am also quitting my job. I never thought I would say this, but I am working in Master's bar full time now. I have been for a couple of weeks. I've had almost no free time between working both jobs and school. The 11th is my last day and I am looking forward to things going back to normal.

Working in the bar has helped to mend some things between Master and I. So did a lot of conversations about where our relationship was and where we wanted it to be in the future. Its been a while since I have felt able to truly give myself over to my submission, and i'm glad to be here again. The relationship is still open-I'm still looking for a Daddy to play with, but I will not give up the things that I need for anyone.

Most of the issues that Master and I have no are related to time. We never have enough of it- for each other or for ourselves. I have been left physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I have given everything in to working both jobs and school and trying to keep Master happy. I desperately need to recharge. The problem is.. I find that I have no way to do that anymore. I still meditate-but that has become every other day now. And i find it harder and harder to find the peace inside myself to meditate. It was suggested that I go outside to feel the earth around me (since I am very earth and water related) but since that suggestion was made, it has rained almost everyday. I try to open myself to hear what the Goddess is saying, but her voice is a whisper. I guess what it comes down to is I need a spa day. And more sleep....

I am looking forward to the easy pace of this summer. Looking forward to being able to play and sing and dance and blow bubbles and take baths.