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Friday, February 19, 2010

I sometimes say that i have the emotional stability and hormonal responses of a teenager. It is like some part of me refuses to grow past that stage in my life. When i stop to question why, i remember that many of the things that you do as a teenager that help you grow into adulthood were denied to me. I was never really allowed to date, or rebel in the way that teenagers do that help them cut the apron strings and face the world. I never learned much about stable relationships, i'm not even sure i have ever seen one in my entire life. Every relationship that i witnessed growing up involved some form of abuse or manipulation, and ended in seperations and divorce.

So now, as an adult, i have trouble forming and maintaining stable relationships. I always seem to want more reassurance, more attention. Its like i am constantly trying to make up for the unease and insecurity that i felt all around me, as a child and as a teenager. I find trusting anyone difficult, for any amount of time. About anything. This lack of trust especially makes D/s relationships difficult.

I have trouble 'going with the flow'

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