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Thursday, January 21, 2010


I talk to much. i'm not great with secrets. Sometimes i open my mouth and out comes all this garbage, like mind vomit. As a little kid, i used to tell everyone what they got for Christmas if i knew. Come to think of it, i still kinda do that...
Yesterday, i bragged about a maybe promotion in the works, now i might not get it. I told one person on campus, someone i thought i could trust (cause i said not to say anything) and now everyone know, and my boss got mad, and i might lose it.
Recently there were things said to me (that had a lot of nothing to do with me) and i wasn't told to keep quiet, but i said those things to the person they were said about (still following) because i partially thought they deserved to know. In the process of telling said person what was said about them i specifically told them NOT to bring me into it. That while i wasn't entirely sure i was breaking confidences, i didn't want to get dragged into the mess. Of course said person disregarded what i said completely, breaking trusts and bonds.
Maybe this blog is just another example of me talking to much. And yet, somehow, in my relationship, i don't communicate. Ever feel like you can't win for losing? I know its about when i communicate, how and with whom, but i just want to tape my mouth shut... Or gag it.. even at work. Should i become the type of person, the type of submissive, that doesn't speak unless spoken to? That reserves all thoughts and opinions until prompted? I have occasionally thought so before, but i am so... talkative on a general basis, that it never sticks. I guess i have not had the self discipline.

1 comment:

  1. Well there is a difference between the two. When you're gossiping you're not talking about yourself, but others... so it's safe. Talking to your Master about what's going on inside your head is not as "safe"... after all you're exposing yourself and what if he should judge you or think you're not good enough for him? Thing is... if he's a good Master he will always try to be understanding and helpful.

    As far as the gossip, I'll leave you with this: "Truth can be powerful, therefore the decision to share it must be weighed."