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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Collar

It is a ring of steel around my neck. It closes with a very very tiny allen screw to which i have no key. It is heavy, but not weighing me down. For the next sixth months, this training collar will sit around my neck. I thought it would be hard to sleep with it on, thought i would panic or worry. I begged Master for a while to give me a key. But once it was on, all the worry faded away. All the frustration of the past couple of weeks, all the doubt, all the fear, fell away. It was just... gone. I feel light, weightless, floating. I didn't realize that the actual collar would make such a difference, as in my heart i feel he owns me (whether he realized it or not).
Collaring, even a training collar such as this, comes with commitment and responsibility on both sides. It is my responsibility to communicate, to obey, and to please him to the best of my ability. It is my commitment to him until June 21st. It is his responsibility to protect me, to keep in mind my physical, emotional, and mental health, and to communicate with me as well. I look to the next sixth months with excitement instead of fear, with joy instead of anger, and love instead of discontentment.

2 comments:

  1. Good to hear your collaring has been such a positive experience.

    FD

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  2. Congrats and glad to hear it's had such a positive effect. I've never actually worn a collar, but I would love one. Master and I are looking at getting one that I can wear all the time that is discrete (we have to be with our family and my line of work).

    *hugs*

    spirited

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