Monday, December 28, 2009
I sometimes use this blog as a bouncing board, writing out my thoughts as i do in my journal. I place them here in the hope that someone who is just entering the lifestyle or perhaps a lost submissive will read them and realize that there is hope. I also use it to reflect on things i am learning, like the traditions. But typing out entries for each of the twelve traditions, i come to grasp a better knowledge of them. Its voicing my thoughts, my understanding. Maybe one You D-types will read them and adopt them. My blog is not just for submissives to learn and grow from. As a grateful slave says in "Slavecraft" D-types "are often mystified be submissives, both bottoms ans slaves, and cannot understand why we enjoy submission, or, more importantly, how we do it." (pg 42). He speaks of the myth of slave training. He means that slaves or submissives (especially new to the lifestyle, or the thought of slavehood or submission) believe that they will receive any and all training they need from this perfect D-type. The problem, as slave states, is that most Dominants don't have a clue on h0w to do what we s-types do. My Master has admitted that he does not know how to guide me on my path of submission. He knows how to train me- my behaviors, the way i cook, the way i dress, etc- but nothing on finding the inner sanctuary of peace that i glimpse through submission or the tools that i need to destruct my inner resistances and fight against the internal challenges i face in the journey to become his. I often wish that i had a more experienced submissive or slave that i could go to to confide in, to seek advice from. I read the blogs of others and find some comfort, but general feel alone on my path. It is very frustrating at time. And so, to help prevent other s-types to cope with that feeling, and perhaps so that my D-type readers may come to understand their s-type companions better, i continue to log my journey into submission here. I realize that i have approached this in a very scientific way as of yet, defining traditions and not giving any insight into overcoming my struggles. So, as i will be accepting a six month training collar soon, i hope to more regularly post my internal conflicts and how i have found to resolve them. I would like to say that i will post every day, but i will not set such a high and possibly unobtainable goal for myself. My life interferes, and i hope to be kept busy by training sessions. As i will not post for the next few days, i will wish all of you a happy kinky new year and close for the night.