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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Nerves

Master will be on Saturday. i'm nervous as hell. Yes He has been here before. But He never stayed the night. It was only for a few hours. This time, it will be 2 days and 2 nights. Of being His slave, of sleeping next to Him, waking up to Him, showering, cooking, serving... Wonderful things. But... its also facing those challenging things. Going to the bathroom, and i snore. What if i do something embarrassing?
And my fears have more of a history. my last real Dom, things ended after a prolonged stay together. He could take plenty of me, but not me of Him... i got scared, things were too real, and i found out somethings about Him i just couldn't take. The sound of His snoring for one. So there is a part of me that is terrified that it will just happen again. That two days will be too much. Will i realize that serving in person is too much? That i can't handle being a full time slave? Will i find myself bound to LDR and online play because i am overwhelmed by the face of my Master everyday and wanting something more, dare i say it, vanilla?

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