Sunday, July 25, 2010
It funny how a persons definition of nightmare changes when you add BDSM to their lifestyle. Once nightmares for me involved something about pain, chainsaws, being hacked to bits... Now... I'm up early this Sunday morning because I don't want to go back to sleep and continue to dream about Master marrying someone else. I was helping plan the wedding. I was giving some speech at the reception. But in the dream, I was under the belief that I would stay his submissive, that the wife knew. And then he drew me aside and told me that she didn't not know, and that to continue our relationship, I would have to move out and things would be a secret. But i knew (and told him) that i could not go back to being a married mans secret play thing, not when i knew what the real thing was like The sound of my wailing echoes in my mind even now that i am awake. That drew her into the room. I said something like "Call me when it doesn't work out. Call me when you realize that you are still who you are, a Dominant, a Master." His face went white and he looked angry. I said "what you think she didn't know?" And his eyes turned to her. "You are very demanding" is all she said. I woke up crying and shaking. It seemed so real...
at 8:36 AM