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Friday, May 21, 2010

Disappoint?

I am sorry if this sounds a bit prideful... What a way to start out a blog.

I'm retreating again. I know i said i would blog about my new life here in Master's house, and at some point i will return here and blog again. I'm sorry to all those this disappoints, but right now i can't stand my own thoughts enough to put words to them. i hurt, my heart aches, and i constantly feel as if i am disappointing someone- my parents, my friends, Master, myself.... And really, right now, i just can't take it. So for now, im keeping my mouth shut- even in blog- and i'm just going to do my best to be on my best behavior...

On a secondary note, i hate that no one blogs about fighting or arguments with their D-type. I have no idea how to handle how upset i am, and i feel like i have no one to talk to about it, and no example to read. It sucks


bye for now guys

2 comments:

  1. Aw, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I was just thinking about you this morning, wondering why you haven't been very active on fet. :(

    I don't actually have a formal D/s agreement myself, but I've been working with someone specific for a while now just trying to sort out the specifics and all. It hasn't been easy. So, I think I can kinda relate. Maybe just a little.

    I think lots of D/s couples struggle though, especially in the beginning. I really hope things get better soon.

    *hugs*

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  2. Sorry to hear about your struggles... :( I hope you know that you don't have to worry about disappointing any of us - we all want the same things for you (and for each other) - happiness and peace! :) If you need to take some personal time and try to find those things for yourself, then you take all the time and space you need!

    I know what you mean about nobody blogging about their difficult times... As a submissive who sometimes struggles with her place in the world and with speaking her mind with her Dom in a timely, orderly fashion, I find it particularly frustrating... I suppose most of us don't write about the hard times and the interpersonal struggles because we feel it may make us less submissive or because we want to keep others at a distance from our deepest feelings...just a thought. :(

    Again, I wish you all the best and I'm sending you a huge hug!

    Take care,
    Baby Girl :)

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