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Monday, January 11, 2010

Seventh Tradition of the House of Reason

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I realize that my needs and limits will change, as I will continue to grow and develop as a submissive and as a human being.

A few years ago, i would have seen it as extremely unlikely that i would ever find myself kneeling for any one. While i enjoyed rough sex and was naturally submissive in some ways, i would not be owned, would not be controlled, would slap someone for spitting on me or calling me a slut (whore, fucktoy, cumdump, slave etc). Several months ago, i panicked when i felt hands around my throat. Now i love being choked. i have grown and changed as a person, and have come to a better understanding of who i am and what excites and pleases me. i expect to grow and change more and i age, and as i come into more contact with what the world has to offer me. i have learned that i must keep an open mind when exploring new things. That what was once a hard limit, sometimes becomes a maybe, then a yes please, then a please Master, please!
In the same way, the things i need change too. i used to need time in that little girl space to help me cope with stressful situations around me. i used to need my handheld at every moment. While i am still needy and still enjoy time spent in little space, i need these things less and less. It is not that the stress in my life has faded away, just that i have found better ways of coping with them.
It is important to keep an open mind in the face to new ideas and obstacles. Fear is what causes our minds to close. Fear of the unknown, fear of getting hurt or hurting others, fear of failing. And as fear is can be just as demanding as my master is, i cannot be controlled by both at once.
Just yesterday, Master took my fear and dropped me with it. I do not like hoods or masks or things covering my entire face. It scares me, panics me, even if i am in no real danger. It strips away too many of my senses. Master, as always, challenges this fear, this limit. He started with just putting his hands over my face. He was patient, waiting for me to adjust, to stop pulling away. He waited until i willingly put my face in his hands before having Pia tie a scarf around my face and his hands. The first time i felt the material, i still pulled away. But eventually i gave into my trust in my Master and was tied to his hands.


  1. I think he's doing a good job of slowing but surely bringing out your submissive side and I think the more he does it, the more you will enjoy it.

    He sounds like a dom who knows how to meet his submissive's needs. I hope you enjoy the journey as he continues to bring you to new levels.


  2. FD- it has not been the easiest journey, for me or for him. there have been people who have asked him why he chose to train a bratty little girl like me, because when he found me, i was not yet a submissive, though i thought i was. He saw my potential from the very begining and has opened my eyes to it.
    thank you for reading..


  3. It is amazing how your limits can be pushed and how your needs and desires can change so dramatically with it. Many people probably think we're nuts for what we'll endure at the hands of our Masters, but if they only knew how incredibly freeing it is. If they only knew how it inspires growth in us a human beings.

    I actually feel sorry for those who don't know now. :)