Master finally got into town yesterday at about 2. We cuddled for a while before heading out to wander about town, enjoying each others company, alone for the first time in what seemed like forever (but was really only about 2.5 weeks). When we got home he did his homework for his mentor class while i fixed dinner- yummy homemade pork lo mien- then ate. We got part way into a movie and decided that it was not what we wanted and that some play time was needed. The new cuffs that we bought at the Christmas bizarre went on, floggers came out, i went up... and then came down. The new cuffs were too tight to be comfortable, i still can't make a play list on my mp3 player yet (though it is supposed to have the capability, i have not figured out how), and 'it' just wasn't felt. But he rocked my world with several orgasms with the glass dildo, till i couldn't stand. So he had me kneel. Then bow. He put his hands on my face as i bowed, while i recited the traditions (one through six at least), reinforcing each one with me. i started to get a little floaty, and he had started to switch tasks wanting me to massage him, when he could tell i was disappointed and upset.
He cuddled with me on the bed and let me talk, about how i needed that release, but wanted to please him, how i felt selfish for expressing my own needs. He took care of me. Made me go get the really thin stingy paddle that i hate/love so much and started out with that. Then switched to the flogger, then back to the paddle, i'm not sure how many times he went back and forth cause this time it didn't take me long to drop. I felt so taken care of, so wonderful at the end of the night. I didn't realize that i missed worshipping at his feet, that i like this activity now, instead of just having to get through it to please him. I find joy. This morning i am exhausted, but happily so.
We had a couple of long talks yesterday, and while we both know that the future is not set in stone, i think we both feel better about things. I feel less insecure, less ignored, more grounded in reality. He is still concerned that i want children, and is afraid that it will tear us apart. That my instincts and hormones will not subside with out a strong voice in my future. I'm not entirely sure he is right, though i am not entirely sure he is wrong... More on this later.