When i sat down to write today, i wanted to tell everyone how great the weekend was. i wanted to explain everything that happened, say how happy i was. Because that is the truth. And when my current feelings pass, i will. But at the moment i am crashing from slavespace. i remember that Master is not always here, that He is not mine, that in reality, i am alone.
my heartbeat sounds in my ears and my head feels fuzzy. my stomach won't settle and my breaths won't come easily. my body aches and all i want to do is sleep. It's a crash from slavespace. It happened last time He was here too. And i know that it will fade. i hope that Master will have patience with me, as i am sure with this crash will come my rebellion. And i know, whether He does or not, that i will not help to spoil me in this time because He feels bad, but rather to make sure that even from a distance i feel His hand on my throat, a cane at my ass, a flogger at my back. i still need Him, more than ever now infact, to show me that He is MASTER.