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Monday, June 04, 2012

Reflections at 2 am

How many times have I thought about abandoning this blog? How many times have I been set to erase or hide the words I have written here? I have chosen to leave them here for those new submissives entering the lifestyle, stumbling upon it whilst on their own journey. I have also chosen to leave it as it is much the history of my life as a submissive for the past three years. To simply delete the things I have written here would be, for me, like attempting to delete the past three years of my life, unfair to say the least. This acts as a record for my new husband to read, to see the me I used to be, the me I am growing out of, growing away from, whether by choice or not. He can come back (has come back as time allows) and read and gain understanding of the person that I was, on the events in life that have lead me to be this person that I am today.

Oh yes, Husband. Devin and I are married, as of the 19th of May. I will reflect upon this later.

Many things await me in the future. Many questions unanswered, paths unseen. But all the dreams I have had up till now have come true. I wanted to be a wife and mother. Now I have a wonderful adoring respectful husband, and two beautiful step children who are not without their own complications.

As for the D/s nature of our marriage.... It struggles to exist, like the new born sprout in the middle of a May thunderstorm. It has potential for great growth, it is survives and gets everything it needs... What WE need... is a new apartment. Where we are moving to the 20th of May. Huzzah!


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