Adult Content

This blog contains material that may be unsuitable for the stuck up, close minded, or homo-kinka-phobic. If you are under 18 or other wise limited in your perceptions, please move along

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Training of....

We've all seen the clips or videos from websites. Pretty young girls, already naked, putting all their trust in to the men on camera. They get trussed up, beaten, face fucked, left alone for long periods of time, fucked, beaten more, pissed on, used, and humiliated. They never call red, there is no after care (at least in the ones i have seen personally), no negotiations, and nothing that would really translate to a real world relationship except some mind blowing slut skills- blow jobs and squat fucking someone.

These porn vids give all the wrong ideas, both to aspiring dominants and submissives. Don't get me wrong, i like porn, and these are okay for porn. But as with all porn, some people have a tendency to take it like a guide book. I've seen complaints from the general female population about men cumming on faces (without consent in vanilla relationships). It stems from guys watching porn and taking it to heart, which is about the same as reading Harry Potter and believing a broomstick up your ass can fly you across London.

I think its happening on our side of the world too. People new to the lifestyle often surf the web, looking for 'why am i like this' and 'now that i know i am like this what do i do'? And more often than not the come across the huge amounts of porn on the internet and start watching. Without a guide, a mentor, someone to say 'Hey! Idiot! Things don't work like that.'

What the videos don't show are the large amounts of time, effort, and emotional hard work that it takes to maintain a health D/s relationship. They glorify a girl behind a glory-hole because someone said to, but show how to go from that back to your full time job. Or that as a live in submissive its never really 24.7. Or that you still face communication issues, fights about money, struggling through day to day life. It doesn't show waking up at 4am night after night because he needs something from the next room. It doesn't show scrubbing the dishes, the floors, the toilets, the tub. It also doesn't show the amazingly intense connection that can be found and the need to be held after.

If you wanna watch them for porns sake by all means, i'm all for whatever gets you off. But please don't use any kind of porn as a guide book.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya... it's one of my pet peeves too. There was actually this guy once who came into the chat room where I used to help moderate and asked, "how do you get a girl to do what they do in those BDSM porns?" and one of the dominants in the room replied with, "you don't... that's why they're porns and this is real life." The guys seemed completely confused as though he actually believed that's all it was about. Of course he wasn't interested in the 24/7 lifestyle... he just wanted play partners, so that's a bit different, but he got a good talking to anyway about the hows, whens, and whys.